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Sometimes the places where we were let down become the places where we doubt ourselves most. It’s easy to look back on unmet needs and imagine we were asking for too much, or that we should’ve known better than to hope for more.

But unme
Something shifts in us as the light thins and the air cools. We reach for warmth without thinking, slow our mornings without deciding to, move through the world with a softer edge. The body recognizes the season long before we do.

This post is a ref
As we approach the end of another month, I'm thinking about what November has held. It has certainly gotten colder and darker, harder to wake in the mornings, and through that has, at least for me, made the hours of daylight and warmth feel even more
Holidays tend to have a way of bringing everything to the surface all at once: the sweet memories and the ones that still sting. Thanksgiving can hold gratitude, connection, nostalgia, grief, regret, and longing, all in the same day.

If things feel
I’ve noticed that when winter arrives and our energy levels change, we think it must mean something’s wrong. That we’re “losing motivation,” becoming “less productive,” or slipping into seasonal depression.
Many of us learned early on that love wasn’t guaranteed, it had to be maintained.

So we became careful. We learned to anticipate moods, soften our edges, hold our breath around conflict.

It’s easy to justify our rules as kindness, consi
Self-abandonment can be subtle. It’s the small ways we dismiss our emotions or needs before anyone else can. It may feel easier to shrink than risk being misunderstood or too much.

But every time you catch yourself minimizing what you feel, yo
Many of us unconsciously reject the same traits that were shamed or dismissed when we were young — the tears, the curiosity, the sensitivity, the need for comfort.

Over time, this becomes self-rejection: a quiet war between who we are and who
Many people who fear being “too much” or “not enough” once had to manage love that felt conditional.

They learned to earn affection through perfection, silence, or caretaking, anything that kept connection intact.

This post

Marlow Mowery Counseling

Attachment-based, trauma-informed therapy for adults in Nashville, TN and across Tennessee.

Specialties include attachment wounds, perfectionism, people-pleasing, chronic illness, grief, and religious trauma.

Licensed Professional Counselor – Mental Health Service Provider (LPC-MHSP, TN)