Letting Go of the Need to Be Understood

There’s a particular kind of stuckness that comes not from what happened to us, but from who didn’t understand it.

The parent who minimized.
The partner who deflected.
The friend who changed the subject.
The person who hurt you and never looked back.

We often imagine that healing will come when the other person finally gets it, when they understand the pain they caused, when they acknowledge our side of the story. When they say they’re sorry.

But more often than not, that moment never comes. And if we wait for it, we’re left holding our breath in a story that’s already ended.

What if moving on doesn’t depend on them?

What if it begins with releasing the need to be understood?

Letting go of that need isn’t giving up — it’s choosing yourself. It’s acknowledging:

“Even if they never understand, I can still honor what happened. I can still heal.”

Understanding yourself, tending to your own pain, and validating your own story — that’s the kind of closure no one else can give you.

And maybe… that’s the kind that lasts.